If It Weren't For You

If It Weren't For You

If it weren't for you

I wouldn't have had a poster of Justin Bieber up in my classroom for a whole year

I wouldn't have spilled butter chicken all over the floor at CHEO

I wouldn't have been celebrated with flowers

If it weren't for you

Matt and Jeff wouldn't have had crowns to wear at a concert

I wouldn't have had a fight with a doctor the first time I met your parents

I wouldn't have understood unicorns

If it weren't for you

I wouldn't have gotten to be a Fairy Godmother

If it weren't for you

I wouldn't have known how proud someone could be to weigh more than 10 lbs at birth

Our conversation about "Kick a Ginger Day" wouldn't have been so meaningful

I wouldn't have been able to describe the smell and taste of the softest, ashiest cheese

If it weren't for you

Matt would have had to eat grown up food, instead of chicken fingers

We would have all shaved our heads

If it weren't for you

I wouldn't have made two of my most incredible friends in your parents

I wouldn't have known the kindness of strangers who made a beautiful dream come true

I would have felt guilty about how many Golden Palace egg rolls I can eat in one sitting

There are things that you think

And there are things that you know

If it weren't for you

I wouldn't have known that the worst thing about cancer was not scoring guys

I wouldn't have known how much strength could be in one person

I wouldn't have known the compassion that can be shown by children to their friend

I wouldn't have known the healing power of a horse

You used the word "irony" as liberally as Alanis Morisette

Loved Hallowe'en as much as I do

Refused any extra attention

And put a sign on your door that said

"If you can't treat me like Molly,

Go away."

The people you really let in got to see so many sides

Your complex, multilayered personality

Wickedly funny

Brilliantly smart

Observant

Thoughtful

Sarcastic

Always surprising

A twinkle in your eye

The knowing look

That spoke of wisdom well beyond your years

If it weren't for you

I wouldn't have laughed till I cried and

Cried till I laughed

If it weren't for you

I wouldn't have the mask that was hand-painted

With a unicorn 

And a neon rainbow

That took a private taxi ride

From an artist's house

To the hospital

Where it kept your head in place

If it weren't for you

I wouldn't have understood that bravery means

Saying "no" incredibly forcefully 

To the people who love you

In their misguided attempts to support you

If it weren't for you

I wouldn't have known that courage

Is when you look out for others

Even when you're hurting

It it weren't for you

I wouldn't have seen an incredible side of my baby brother

And my husband

Or known that I could say thank you

And good-bye

If it weren't for you

More kids would be sick

---

In Molly's lifetime and memory, more than $150 000 has been raised to support the life-enhancing and life-saving treatments offered at CHEO. 

Please donate to Team Molly

---

I have learned a lot of lessons from a lot of kids. I suspect that some of them may even read this. Lest they think that I don't have similar stories about them I want to remind them that once you're mine you're always one of mine.

The time is right for me to share some of my cherished memories of Molly.

Drowning in Drafts - a Poem I Made Up in My Car

Drowning in Drafts

I narrated this poem onto VoiceMemo on my phone, in my car, on February 18th, 2016. Because I am so badly drowning in drafts, I'm only getting to typing it up now, almost three weeks later.

Also, I have not shared a poem publicly since high school. Be gentle.

Thank you stock photography for this perfect picture.

For many months
I worked on a single narrative
A single project
I could forgive myself
And excuse myself
For not blogging
Regularly

But I came up with ideas
Lots of ideas
Which I added to lists
Upon lists
Which I have organized
And prioritized
And alphabetized
And check listed
And expanded
And researched
And narrated
And sketched
And texted

Now, they wash over me
Started as drafts
Unfinished posts
Unshared ideas
They sit in my Any.do list
On the notes on my phone
Rambling ideas
Rolling on top of each other
Started as drafts
In the draft folder on my blog
On neon sheets of paper on my coffee table
And Post-Its in my pockets

Every time I don't write a post
Another idea forms
And I sink
Further
Beneath the drafts
And I'm drowning
Under waves
Of ideas

Every time I swim through the drafts
Trying to pull my head above
A new idea forms
I cannot get to the top
Because I cannot get to the top
I give up
And I stop swimming
I stop writing
I hide beneath the waves
Of my ideas
Half formed
In drafts

Even this poem
Coming from my brain
To my mouth
To the VoiceMemo
Will become
Another wave
Cresting
Another wave in the digital ocean
Of drafts
Of ideas

(Ha! Past Shauna was wrong - I took a stroke, I kicked and I shared this one draft today!)

'Twas the Night Before ISTE

'Twas the night before ISTE, and sitting in Philly,
Butterflies in my gut flapping willy nilly;
The devices were charging up in every plug,
In hopes that wifi is a cheetah, not a slug.

The teachers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Google Glass danced in their heads;
My friend's snuggled in bed, I'm on the couch,
Unable to settle, but affecting a slouch.

My little driver, so lively and quick,
Got us straight to Philly, lickety split;
We had time to wander, chow down and rest,
And prepare to begin our learning quest.

When up on the Twitter, there arose such a clatter,
That I clicked on the app to see what was the matter;
Away to my TweetDeck, my fingers did flash,
Looked at the hashtag, it's making a splash.

The online hype about #ISTE2015,
Expressed by educators, lifelong learners so keen;
Makes me feel like I'm in for a really big treat,
Incredible discoveries, but really sore feet.

More rapid than eagles, my PLN starts to arrive,
To meet face to face, push one and other and thrive;
Though there are many with edulebrity fame,
I just can't wait to put faces to name.

From Ottawa last year, I felt FOMO syndrome,
Now I'm happy to be here, not watching from my home;
It's time to be learners, with failures and a-has,
To build ourselves up and erase end of year bla-ahs.

The days will be chock full of events and sessions,
Lucky there's time to make good impressions;
Participating, collaborating, that's the name of the game,
So many great chances, I'll list them by name:

There's meet ups and tweet ups and lounges and playground,
Selfies, Turnies and Groupies, new friends to be found;
Topics to propose on the HackEd session wall,
And lectures and keynotes and vendors for all!

Weird Army, SatChat and others from Twitter,
I can't wait to see you and coat you in glitter;
Mystery Skype partners and Global Read Aloud,
Give a smile and a hug and stand out in the crowd.

Future schools are coming, what are their features?
Wayne and Garth will talk about Weird Teachers,
There are stories to hear, ideas to be challenged,
With sessions and parties, the week will be balanced;

There are some people who live in my phone,
I find them on Voxer, I'm never alone;
Only one sleep 'till I see them for real,
When I watch them talking, it will make me squeal.

On the very last day, I'll share my Ignite,
You'll learn about Disney, if I don't get stage fright;
For those five minutes, I'll talk till my voice gets all croaky,
Well, that's my excuse to not do karaoke.

I know that meeting new people can feel like hard work,
But as long as you be brave, you don't have to lurk;
My goal for the week is to be friendly, aggressively,
So that I make connections and giggle excessively.

Making magical classrooms is the thing that I do,
I am so looking forward to learning from you;
My mind will be blown, my body goose bumped,
As I discover the things that make your kids pumped.

I have sketchnotes to make and people to see,
The butterflies are sleeping and I think so should me;
Now I finally upload this poem to my site,
Happy ISTE to all, and to all a good night!



apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, author of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"